26 Ridiculous Ways Movies And TV Shows Portray S3x That Are Wildly Unrealistic And Impractical
We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the biggest lies that popular movies and TV shows tell us about having sex. Here are the very unfiltered and brutally honest responses.
1. “TV and movies show that shower sex is fun. No, it’s not. It’s awkward, hard to get into any position, and someone is always blasting water in their face. Second, the straight to sex with no foreplay. Unless you use lube, you’re going to want to do a little foreplay to get things going down there, for both of you. Whether it’s kissing, manual/oral stimulation, toys, whatever.”
2. “One of the biggest lies on TV about sex is that women can lie in bed immediately after sex for hours and never get a UTI. There is no running to the bathroom to pee or post sex cleanup.”
—Anonymous, 52, female, Maryland
3. “The next morning, you can just wake up, get dressed, and go to work like you’re not covered in someone else’s sweat and… ya know, other stuff. Get your stank ass in the shower!”
4. “It’s rarely depicted realistically. No one is sweaty and makeup is always spot on. There’s never any silliness like accidentally rolling your partner off the bed and onto the floor. So much great comedy could be created using sex as such but Hollywood seems to only want perfection for something that is imperfect.”
—Anonymous, 32, F, Canada
5. “There’s never awkwardness, like adjusting for an arm or leg in a bad position, or a cramp, or bunched up bedding. And no post-sex waddle to the bathroom? Totally unrealistic!”
—Anonymous
6. “That people are having as much sex as rabbits. All they can think about is sex. My husband (deceased at 60 after our 40 year marriage) only wanted sex once every other year. Found reports of multiple encounters per night highly unlikely much less once every night.”
—Anonymous, 81
7. “Jack Twist ate a whole can of beans next to the campfire before getting inside that tent with Ennis Del Mar later that night.”
8. “So so many things! But here are a few regarding the morning after; they wake up in full makeup in the morning, the woman is always wearing nothing on top but a bra (who sleeps in just a bra or wears it during sex?), then they kiss in the morning without brushing their teeth.”
—Anonymous, 43, Female, Dallas
9. “That rolling over, first thing after waking up, and starting a hot make-out session is super sexy. Sorry, but no one is getting within five feet of my face until we have BOTH brushed, flossed, and gargled with mouthwash for at least 30 seconds. Morning breath is a HUGE turn off!!!”
—Anonymous
10. “Spooning sex being a thing. Either the man has a 12-inch curved unit, or is going in the back door? The position does not support penetration.”
11. “That there is no clean up and that it only takes a few good thrusts to climax.”
—Anonymous
12. “The lack of complete and utter awkwardness!!!! Even after years of marriage and some pretty exquisite times with my wife, there are always moments like the random hair getting caught, an ill-timed fart or burp, knees popping, or legs cramping at the most inopportune time. Real life is messy and funny at the same time. So happy that our sex is real and not a performance.”
—Anonymous, 45, male, Colorado
13. “The woman lead would be running around all day fighting, then her co-star goes down on her without a shower.”
—Anonymous, 50 male Virginia
14. “Losing your virginity can be awful, awful. The books and movies make it sound like everyone knows what they’re doing, and it’s a magical experience. That’s total BS.”
15. “They cuddles up or even getting dressed right after sex. IRL, you gotta pee right away to save you from UTI.”
—Anonymous, N/A
16. “I have not had sex (see age), but I find it completely dishonest that the couple or two peeps in question would cover themselves with blankets afterwards, it just seemed like an easy way to censor that they kept.”
—Anonymous, 15
17. “That sex always starts off super passionate and explosive with no awkwardness ever.”
—Anonymous, 30, Female , NY
18. “Every woman always climaxes from penetration alone in missionary style after five minutes, like… like it’s just that easy or the dude has a magic penis.”
19. “When the woman jumps up on the man and wraps her legs around his waist. Then he walks up the steep stairs in this position to the bedroom. Try doing that at my age, let alone any age!”
—Anonymous, 70 year old female, Maine
20. “Stand-up sex (especially in the shower) is effortless despite having nothing to support either person. Also, the danger of slipping and sprawling out on the bathroom floor is seemingly non-existent!”
—Anonymous, 49, female, Seattle, WA
21. “That ‘fiery, spontaneous sex’ without verbal consent is acceptable. In real life, even if we’re passionately making out, you’d better ask me before you try to stick it in.”
—Anonymous, 25, NB, San Francisco
22. “You’re so mad with passion that you rush inside and start ripping off each other’s clothes, then jump straight into the deed, no foreplay, no lube, no nothing, just bang bang slammed against a wall, floor, desk.”
—Anonymous, Female, 64 Baltimore Md
23. “Everyone has a regular sex life regardless of age.”
24. “‘There’s never a need for lube, no one has to stop because the penis slipped out, women orgasm instantly, jealousy and/or stalking is a turn on.”
—Anonymous, female, Atlanta
25. “When couples cuddle after sex, in the same spot that they might have made a mess of, you’re telling me that they are going to cuddle in the wet spot?? And women who have long hair, how does it not get in the way everywhere if you don’t pull it up?
—Anonymous, 53, female, Florida
26. “That sex can last hours. Rotflol. In their 20s, men can sometimes only last a few minutes; in their 30s, a little longer; and once they hit 40, they start experiencing ‘problems,’ and they can’t maintain an erection long enough to finish. Movie sex is ridiculous.”
—Anonymous, Arizona girl
