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When a man is using a woman, he will do these 9 things
When a man is using a woman in an obvious way, like when he keeps forgetting his wallet during the dates HE asked her out for. When he doesn’t want to stay the night because he got what he wanted and always has to “get up early in the morning”, which is a great reason to fall asleep right now and not drive home first but anyway, if a guy is blatantly using a woman, it’s easy for her to not continue to date him or to get out of the relationship.
Because some women think: No problem, I can see a user or a manipulator from a mile away, this won’t happen to me! And yes, if he’s for example a player it’s easy to spot, but there are other types of men that date women or are in a relationship with one and they seem interested while they have no plans whatsoever of making the woman they are with, happy. Ever. If it happens it’s by accident. “Oh you found the roses I bought, and you are happy with them, cool, well you’re welcome”, although I bought them for my grandma’s birthday tomorrow…”
They are only there to make themselves happy. Some guys use women under the radar, not in obvious ways and that can even be dangerous. It’s like when you put a frog in boiling water he will jump right out, but when you put him in cold water and then slowly turn up the heat, he will not leave. So I’ve heard, I would never hurt a frog. But some men use women in such a way that these women are not even aware of what’s happening until it’s too late.
If only they would know the not so obvious signs that a man is using them. Well why don’t we look at some of them in this video. My name is Geert, I’m an author I also use the pen name Brian Nox and the first way a man that is using you will show his true nature is that he will always invest the absolute minimum to still get what he wants from you. He will never do more than what’s needed. But he will put in efforts, so it’s sometimes easy to miss.
An example of this behavior is when you look at a text conversation between a man and his girlfriend, and his messages are always short, her messages are longer and there are just more of them. Even though he may text her first, he’s not investing in the conversation and he sometimes even forgets to reply. Instead of trying to feed the conversation he will try to end it. “ok gotta go now”, “ok good night, talk to you tomorrow”, at 4 PM.
That’s what a user does. If you look at the bottom line and you would add everything up, although he puts in an effort here and there, he will take more from the relationship than he puts in. Consistently. It’s always on his terms. If you want to see him or just want some attention from him, you will get what’s left over after all of his many other priorities got his attention first.
Sign number 2: Another user is the man that wants to play boyfriend and girlfriend, he wants all the benefits that come with a relationship, but he’s not willing to partake in the “negative” things that also come with a relationship, you know the ones where he has to put in an effort. Like listening to how your day went even when he’s tired, picking you up when your car breaks down “Euh isn’t that what your friends are for?” or soothing you when you feel bad. “What? You don’t need to feel bad about that! Let’s talk about MY problems now” When a guy loves you and is not using you, these things here are not even an effort to him. If he knows your car broke down and he cannot come over to pick you up, THAT will be an effort, not being able to help you will be hard.
When you talk to a good guy about your problems, he will or listen, or he will try to fix your problems. “well maybe you can try this, maybe you can do that”, and I know some women don’t appreciate this, but at least he will be trying. He wants you to feel better and if he really loves you, deep down he may think it’s his responsibility. I’ve said this in a lot of my other videos but when a man really loves you, genuinely, he wants to be your hero, your protector.
But when a man is using you, most of the things he will say will be about him, not about you, not about the relationship. Instead of asking how your day was, he will start by telling you how his day was. Every day, consistently. That remains important of course, we all take from time to time in a relationship, but a user, does it consistently. He doesn’t want to make his girlfriend feel better, her feelings won’t matter. It’s all about him.
Sign number 3: sometimes a man will play boyfriend and girlfriend, and in this case he will do the nice things a good boyfriend would do, but he doesn’t want to commit. He doesn’t want to label it as a relationship, he doesn’t want to make plans for the distant future. If you ask him: “where is this going?” He will get a spontaneous allergic rash. If that guy then doesn’t say: I’m just not ready for anything serious, for commitment, if he wants you to believe there is a future with his words, but his actions prove otherwise, then he’s using you. He’s not honest. A lot of guys are afraid of commitment, but good guys will be honest about it.
Sign number 4: Another GREAT and trustworthy sign that a man you’re dating or are in a relationship with is USING you is when he does things that he knows will upset you, while he doesn’t gain a lot from it. Let me explain this one a bit. If he knows you don’t like him watching his favorite sport on tv, if that upsets you for some reason, but it IS his favorite sport, then even a good guy might upset you because well that thing is really important to him, he might still watch that sport.
But the guy that is using you, will upset you even for things that are not important to him. He just doesn’t care about what you think. You find it important that he arrives on time, he’s always late. You would like him to stick to the speed limit when you’re a passenger in his car, he drives like a maniac. Because then he wants to be on time of course. Being nice and respectful to you would take a tiny effort in these situations, but he just doesn’t care enough.
