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\u201cThere’s such a lack of accessible language for women to talk about what they want and articulate that to their partners,\u201d says Dr Devon Hensel, an assistant professor in Sociology at the University of Indiana School of Medicine and the co-author of this new study.<\/p>\n
\u201cImagine not having the language to describe what you want in other parts of life? Not being able to say, \u2018I want more coriander with my guacamole\u2019 or \u2018I want more whipped cream on my hot chocolate\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n
This study \u2013 which spoke to 4000 women in the US and was published in the science journal Plos One – is all about making that sexual language more accessible for women, so they can talk about what works for them.<\/p>\n
\u201cSex research as a field has been around for well over 100 years and it was really incomprehensible to us as researchers that there were not names for these things. And when something is unnamed, it almost becomes unspeakable,\u201d Devon told Emma Barnett.<\/p>\n
\u201cThese are very women-centred positions, so this empowers women and puts the onus or the emphasis back on what she can do.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Angling refers to a woman moving her pelvis; so rotating, raising, or lowering her pelvis or hips to adjust the angle at which either the penis, sex toy or finger is penetrating the vagina.<\/p>\n
This refers to rocking the base of a penis or sex toy so it rubs against the woman’s clitoris consistently, rather than with an in and out motion. It’s an idea of consistent pressure.<\/p>\n
Shallowing refers to penetrative touch \u2013 from either lips, a tongue, a penis, fingers or a sex toy \u2013 but just inside the entrance of the vagina, so a shallow entrance.<\/p>\n
This refers to a woman herself, solo pairing or with a partner (known as partner pairing). She reaches down to stimulate her clitoris with a finger or a sex toy at the same time that her vagina is being penetrated.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u201cIt’s all consistent with trying to stimulate the inner clitoris, because this is the problem,\u201d says author and sex and relationships expert Tracey Cox.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople think of the clitoris as the little tip that you can see, but in fact, underneath the clitoris is the body, which is about 1-2 inches, then it wishbones into two legs that are about 3-4 inches.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, the clitoris is a big area. If you try and just stimulate the tip, you’re not going to get very far. But if you try and stimulate the inner clitoris, which is what this is all doing, it can then lead to an orgasm for women, or at least make penetration a hell of a lot more interesting and pleasurable.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWomen still continue to believe that there’s something wrong with them if they don’t orgasm just through \u2018normal intercourse\u2019,\u201d says Tracey, \u201cand by that, I mean traditional thrusting, which is quite frankly pathetically ineffective at stimulating the clitoris.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe amount of women I speak to and explain, \u2018only 20% of women can orgasm through penetration without extra clitoral stimulation\u2019\u2026 You can see them thinking, \u2018yeah, but there’s something wrong with me, because whenever I watch TV or movies, or porn, women have intercourse orgasms no problem at all.\u2019 Or \u2018my partner says, \u2018well, Susie before you didn’t have a problem.\u2019 Some people just don’t accept that it is difficult for women to orgasm through penetration.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWomen across the spectrum of life, whether they are in their 20s, their 40s, newly partnered, unpartnered, multi-partnered, every woman is on a sexual pleasure journey,\u201d adds Devon. \u201cSo here are some tools to help you move your pleasure forward.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u201cJust make it part of everyday conversation,\u201d advises Tracey. \u201cIf we were talking about anything else today, you’d say, \u2018I was listening to Woman’s Hour and they were talking about this. What do you think?\u2019 Just have that conversation. Say \u2018they did a really interesting study about how to make penetration more pleasurable for women and this particular technique really spoke to me, and I think I kind of do that already, but…\u2019 And then lead into the conversation from there.<\/p>\n
\u201cOnce you get passed those first few minutes, talking about sex is actually quite easy after that. Maybe it might be a bit uncomfortable with your partner who says, \u2018But hang on a minute, you’ve always been fine just with penetration without any extra stimulation?\u2019. If you don’t want to say, ‘well actually, I haven’t been the whole of the time I’ve been with you’ – just say, ‘well, I think my body’s changing, I seem to need different things now.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should talk about sex before you\u2019re actually having sex,\u201d says Tracey, \u201cbecause people are listening properly for a start, and it’s far less threatening.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf suddenly you say to your partner, \u2018actually, I don’t like you doing it this way, I prefer you doing it another way,\u2019 people can get really funny. They’re very sensitive, they get offended very easily. It’s like, \u2018Oh, you don’t like what I’m doing then.\u2019 And suddenly you’re in the middle of a row, rather than having sex.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait until you’re getting on well, bring out something like this [article] and say, \u2018I was reading something\u2019, \u2018I found something out today\u2019, \u2018I read a study…\u2019. The more we talk about sex in everyday life – and talk about it in little bite-sized conversations, rather than \u2018Honey, we need to sit down and talk about sex\u2019 – the easier it is.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
If men knew that women in this pose…See more 4 ways women can bridge \u2018the orgasm gap\u2019 What do the terms angling, rocking, shallowing and pairing mean to you? We\u2019re … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3027","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n