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As the title says, last night I was searching something on my girlfriend’s phone because my data wasn’t working, and I saw an article open “Blowjob tips for small penises”.<\/p>\n
I laughed immediately and showed her what I found, and my plan was to just laugh it off since after all, the entire reason she had the tab open is to make sex better for us.<\/p>\n
But then as I continued cooking our dinner I felt cold, almost like when you’ve had a drink and the world is stepping away from you.<\/p>\n
She was completely mortified that I’d seen it and I know that she didn’t mean for me to, and the entire reason it was there was a good one.<\/p>\n
Eventually I asked the question “Do you think I’m small then?”<\/p>\n
With little to no hesitation she replied “You said it yourself, you’re on the smaller side.”<\/p>\n
That felt shit to hear. I asked what her process was – did she Google “Blowjobs for small dicks” straight away, or did she Google “Blowjob tips”, try them out, realise I don’t have the length for them and THEN Google the other thing.<\/p>\n
Turns out she skipped straight to “For small dicks”<\/p>\n
I then asked the dumbest question a man can ask – “I take it that means I’m the smallest you’ve ever been with then?”<\/p>\n
Her response was “Yes, but the best”<\/p>\n
That should put my mind at ease…but it just didn’t. It really didn’t.<\/p>\n
I cooked for a while without really talking, then we ate and talked over dinner.<\/p>\n
I explained what I was feeling and why I felt that way, and she listened and apologised and said she wishes she could take it back.<\/p>\n
The kicker is…I’m 5.5″ with decent girth. I’m not small, I’m pretty bang on average. I just so happen to be over 6′ tall and have a rugby player’s build, I’m a grower as well so when everything is in proportion, it looks tiny compared to the rest of my body. So naturally, I’ve always been insecure about it.<\/p>\n
What else is funny is that she’s 5′ tall, and yet she thinks my dick is small. I’ve always felt like it was but to have it outright confirmed as a matter of fact by your girlfriend…I feel cold, almost.<\/p>\n
I was able to shake most of this off last night and we had a pretty good evening. Watched a film, hung out, laughed, and even had sex. But during the last bit I looked down, and rather than thinking “she looks so good right now”, I was thinking “she’s right, it IS small”.<\/p>\n
I know this is my insecurity to deal with, but I’m finding it difficult, hence why I’m making this post.<\/p>\n
We got up this morning, she was out of bed before I was, and when I got up to make breakfast I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact with her, or hold proper conversation with her.<\/p>\n
I even found myself flinching when she wanted a kiss, almost as if I didn’t want to.<\/p>\n
We talked this morning and I explained that although I thought I was over it last night, the way I feel this morning shows I’m clearly not.<\/p>\n
I know there’s no magic solution and I know everyone on here will say something along the lines of “Get over your insecurities” or “leave her”, but I just feel so trapped with the thoughts in my head, and I don’t know how to move forward from this.<\/p>\n
So I’m making this post as a hail Mary, I suppose, and hoping someone out there can give me some advice on how to deal with what I’m feeling.<\/p>\n
UPDATE:<\/p>\n
I never thought I’d update this, but first off, thank you to everyone for the kind words and encouragement.<\/p>\n
We talked a fair bit and did our best to enjoy the rest of the weekend. It wasn’t as good as we’d hoped, but it definitely had a few good memories made.<\/p>\n
While I’m glad to say that I’m pretty much over my insecurities about my size, thanks to a lot of the comments and input here, therapy, and hitting the gym consistently, I’m also afraid to say that my girlfriend and I split up early February.<\/p>\n
However, it was\u00a0completely unrelated to this incident<\/em>. It was an amicable breakup, simply due to us being in different places in life and not being the right person for each other, so although it’s a shame this didn’t work out as we’d hoped, we walked away on good terms.<\/p>\n I’m happy to report that I’m in the best place of my life, and although I’d love to find a new partner, I’m not going to spend every waking moment looking for her.<\/p>\n Thanks again to everyone for your kind words, I hope that anyone else who shares some of the feelings I expressed finds this comments section as helpful as I did.<\/p>\n Peace and love to you all <3<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \ud83d\ude31Girl was hospitalized for trying one more pen…See more My (25m) Girlfriend (24f) accidentally admitted she thinks I’m small As the title says, last night I was searching something on … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2436,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n